We are the Blue Bears - the protective presences who have walked the long, cold, lonely, icy road of coercive control, separation, and institutional ignorance each on our own to to liberate ourselves and our children, and have found, in the process, some meaning in the pain and some peace and growth in following the example of Christ Jesus, his disciples, and other revered spiritual masters and teachers.

In many Native American traditions, the bear is a symbol of strength, courage, and, most of all, fierce protection and undying loyalty and love. The color blue is the most expansive and diversified of all shads of color in the light spectrum, and the love and experience of motherhood is the most vast and evolving of all human relational experiences. Hence, we are, the bunch of us who’ve run this marathon of sprints and found the energy through our spiritual lives, in pursuit of peace that “surpasses all understanding” (____) - Blue Bears.

When we are “blue” we may be sad or calm, cool or serene, cold or in flow, or any hundreds of other feelings and experiences. That is the story of a mother who has guided and loved her children under the abusive and oppressive structure of coercive control - so many feelings, so much endurance, so many expressions of protection, honor, and fearlessness.

Seeing our children continue to be abused by those who employ tactics of coercive control whether through attempts to disrupt or destroy the mother-child relationship.

Feeling the righteous anger when their needs - educational, medical, social emotional - are unmet or flatly denied as valid as a means of maintaining control over the child and the target parent rather than caring for a supporting the child in the present as they evolve.

And sadly, as one young person experiencing the coercive controlling abuse of a parent stated “When he squeezes me for information.” The child continued on, “I know what he’s doing. And I can tell when he’s done, you know… that he’s gotten what he wants from me because he’ll turn his mood quick and just say, ‘Okay, you can go now.’”

women and mothers who have been through the gauntlet of coercive control and have dedicated ourselves to easing the experience of cohabitating under coercive control, transitioning from living in coercive control to separation, and surviving and thriving in post-separation coercive control techniques.

Whatever you or your children have experienced or are experiencing, know this:

Is not your fault

Your are not alone

With connection and effort, you and your children will thrive

Mission

To empower and support women and mothers impacted by coercive control by providing education, resources, and advocacy that fosters safety, autonomy, and healing for them and their children.

Purpose

Our organization is committed to:

1. Educating the Public: Raising awareness about the dynamics, tactics, and consequences of coercive control to promote understanding and prevent abuse.

2. Preparation for Separation: Providing women and mothers with the tools, knowledge, and resources needed to safely and effectively separate from coercive controlling abusers, including strategies for navigating the legal system.

3. Resource Connection: Building a comprehensive network of professionals—lawyers, therapists, and other advocates—who are trained to recognize coercive control and its impact, ensuring survivors receive informed and effective support.

4. Rebuilding and Reclaiming: Supporting women and mothers in maintaining and strengthening their bonds with their children while reclaiming their identities, autonomy, and resilience in the face of coercive control.

5. Advocacy and Policy Change: Working to influence policy and legal systems to better protect and empower survivors, ensuring justice and long-term solutions.

Through education, preparation, and connection, we aim to be a lifeline for women and mothers as they navigate the complexities of coercive control and build a future of freedom and healing.